Climate Change

It's been four weeks since the start of our college life and I'm beginning to to realize I'm really not a student of Pisay anymore. Can you imagine how dense I am? I've been attending classes, activities and stuff all this time and the realization that "Hey, I'm not a Pisay student anymore" came just a few days/hours/minutes back (I'm actually not sure).

Sadly, the confusion in my life right now, what many call the adjustment stage is taking its toll on this blog. I attended a time management seminar (courtesy of the Chem Department for all freshmen Chem majors) and if there was one thing it made me realize, is that I can plan things but I can never completely follow it. And it's really a bad thing.

My parents often tell me sobra na yang computer (gaming) mo ah! or sobra na yang dvd (actually house/smallville) mo ah!. The tendency of most adolescents of course is to deny such claims and tell them e tapos na akong mag-aral e. This fortunately happens only in the weekends and I really mean it (usually) when I say I'm done. The time management seminar made me realize I've been wasting my time.

I started playing computer games when I was six or seven years old. I think the first games I played were Mario and then Dune, Starcraft, Command and Conquer etc etc. I've played so many games (PC, Sega, PS) and it's more than the number of books I've actually read in my life. So I grew up with the paradigm that my life wasn't complete without playing games.

The seminar was great because the speaker delivered it with such a compelling argument. This is roughly what he said, The time you waste doing those unimportant and not urgent things could have been spent doing more important things, studying, catching up with friends and most importantly serving others and God. And it hit me.

Every weekend, I'll set a schedule for myself and specifically give time for playing. Because
of the nature of games I play (usually long strategy games), I tend to not follow the schedule and eat up more of my study time. It doesn't affect my studies because I make it a point to finish everything I need to do before the weekend ends (even if I have to sleep late). But the sad part is I neglect some of the other important stuff that I could have done. I could have had a chat with a batchmate, watched an episode of pokemon with my little brother, read a book due at the end of the sem, prayed a lot more, read an extra chapter in the Bible, all those important stuff. This also includes not being able to write a blog entry. This is really important to me because it helps me analyze the stuff I think about and I really get something out of it.

So I must confess that the reason it was all cloudless here for the past four weeks is because I've been playing a lot and the assignments had began pouring. The last game I played was Disciples II. I've finished it before but it's so fulfilling to finish it at a higher difficulty level but it takes twice the time to finish. I have to deal with finishing a mission for that game and prepare prelabs and postlabs and other stuff at the same time.

I had a wonderful conversation with a friend which gave me a powerful image by which I could see my problem with gaming. It helped me reexamine what I thought was just harmless. It's like a chain that keeps me from reaching my full potential and ultimately showing my love for God. When I thought about it, I play games because I want to enjoy, to unwind, to satisfy myself. God had very little part in the equation being "I need to unwind so I could be a better Christian" which is just stupid. There is only true delight in the Lord and basically the fun I get from gaming is artificial, temporary and all together pointless.

So my resolution is to quit gaming at least for this sem. And you'll be seeing more clouds here every weekend because the time I've freed from not gaming will be spent in my other neglected but important activities.

Hopefully God will grant me the strength to break this chain completely. I hope you help me in this task by praying for me.