It's been four weeks since the start of our college life and I'm beginning to to realize I'm really not a student of Pisay anymore. Can you imagine how dense I am? I've been attending classes, activities and stuff all this time and the realization that "Hey, I'm not a Pisay student anymore" came just a few days/hours/minutes back (I'm actually not sure).
Sadly, the confusion in my life right now, what many call the adjustment stage is taking its toll on this blog. I attended a time management seminar (courtesy of the Chem Department for all freshmen Chem majors) and if there was one thing it made me realize, is that I can plan things but I can never completely follow it. And it's really a bad thing.
My parents often tell me sobra na yang computer (gaming) mo ah! or sobra na yang dvd (actually house/smallville) mo ah!. The tendency of most adolescents of course is to deny such claims and tell them e tapos na akong mag-aral e. This fortunately happens only in the weekends and I really mean it (usually) when I say I'm done. The time management seminar made me realize I've been wasting my time.
I started playing computer games when I was six or seven years old. I think the first games I played were Mario and then Dune, Starcraft, Command and Conquer etc etc. I've played so many games (PC, Sega, PS) and it's more than the number of books I've actually read in my life. So I grew up with the paradigm that my life wasn't complete without playing games.
The seminar was great because the speaker delivered it with such a compelling argument. This is roughly what he said, The time you waste doing those unimportant and not urgent things could have been spent doing more important things, studying, catching up with friends and most importantly serving others and God. And it hit me.
Every weekend, I'll set a schedule for myself and specifically give time for playing. Because
of the nature of games I play (usually long strategy games), I tend to not follow the schedule and eat up more of my study time. It doesn't affect my studies because I make it a point to finish everything I need to do before the weekend ends (even if I have to sleep late). But the sad part is I neglect some of the other important stuff that I could have done. I could have had a chat with a batchmate, watched an episode of pokemon with my little brother, read a book due at the end of the sem, prayed a lot more, read an extra chapter in the Bible, all those important stuff. This also includes not being able to write a blog entry. This is really important to me because it helps me analyze the stuff I think about and I really get something out of it.
So I must confess that the reason it was all cloudless here for the past four weeks is because I've been playing a lot and the assignments had began pouring. The last game I played was Disciples II. I've finished it before but it's so fulfilling to finish it at a higher difficulty level but it takes twice the time to finish. I have to deal with finishing a mission for that game and prepare prelabs and postlabs and other stuff at the same time.
I had a wonderful conversation with a friend which gave me a powerful image by which I could see my problem with gaming. It helped me reexamine what I thought was just harmless. It's like a chain that keeps me from reaching my full potential and ultimately showing my love for God. When I thought about it, I play games because I want to enjoy, to unwind, to satisfy myself. God had very little part in the equation being "I need to unwind so I could be a better Christian" which is just stupid. There is only true delight in the Lord and basically the fun I get from gaming is artificial, temporary and all together pointless.
So my resolution is to quit gaming at least for this sem. And you'll be seeing more clouds here every weekend because the time I've freed from not gaming will be spent in my other neglected but important activities.
Hopefully God will grant me the strength to break this chain completely. I hope you help me in this task by praying for me.
Showing posts with label ateneo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ateneo. Show all posts
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Thursday, June 7, 2007
The Ateneo Way
I've been exposed to Atenean culture for the past three days and so far, I'm not regretting my decision. Sometimes, I still think about what my life could have been if I chose UP Diliman, Manila or La Salle. These thoughts are processed unconsciously whenever I hear about experiences of my friends in those schools. It seemed a week ago that I may have been missing a lot. But a few days into my new life as part of the Ateneo, I'd tell them that as well.
Many people ask me why I chose Ateneo. My parents would often jokingly answer that question with "mas mahal kasi tuition dun e, para mas sulit ang scholarship :p", because I'm not sure I've explained my decision well enough to them. It's really complicated and no single reason is strong enough to stand alone.
I'll start with the wrong reasons people often use to explain this. No, I am not from Ateneo Grade School. No, my brother is not from Ateneo Grade School. No, my parents did not graduate from the Ateneo. It seems Ateneo, or college in general, is seen as a family tradition, with the choice of school as hereditary. Though I plan to "aggresively persuade" my children to study in Pisay, I will still give them a choice, just as my parents have always given me a choice.
No, I was not forced by my parents, because on the contrary, my mom had some other school in mind for me while my dad remained neutral about the matter. It's a great feeling to be trusted with one of the most important decisions of anyone's life.
No, I did not go to Ateneo because we're rich. ANLABO NITO. The only reason Ateneo was in the choices was because I got a scholarship. Thus, this proves that I do not fit in the usual perceived social class of people in the Ateneo.
I originally did not want to have to decide something as important as this. But as many have pointed out and I've been made to realize myself, God gave me the power to choose, unlike most who were forced to one school or one course because there were no other options. It was a blessing in many ways but perhaps the most important is that it was training on trusting yourself when you know that God Himself trusts you to make the decision. It's both empowering and assuring. The implication is that whatever I choose, God would be with me. :D
I did not really imagine myself enrolling in Chemistry/ Material Science Engineering prior to the Ateneo Junior Summer Seminar. I must admit that it was one of the biggest influences on why I chose Ateneo. As someone pointed out, I could have simply fallen into a marketing trick, showing the best of what it has to offer but hiding its worse features. But still stand by this statement: Ateneo is so much like Pisay.
Other considerations I had included the versatility of the course, employment opportunities and an opportunity for holistic development and leadership training. One thing that I really wanted was Catholic education. Though I must admit, I grew in my faith during the time I was away from the rigid religion class, I feel now I am ready to appreciate what I will be taught in theology classes. Though as people say, I could continue to grow in my faith even without theology, I believe a combination of service and study would allow me to see God in a wider perspective. As Jason pointed out in one conversation today, we choose something because we think we will find happiness there. As I have pointed out in earlier posts, true happiness is that which springs from an eternal meaning, which is God. I am extremely confident I will find more of God at the Ateneo (building upon what I found out about Him in Pisay). Not that I would not find Him in any other place but connected to what I said earlier, choosing this school is in fact trusting that He would be with me wherever I choose. This is the choice I made and I'm sure I will know more about Him in this newest journey of my life.
So that's the basic explanation. Haha. I tried an objective approach to this by making a list of categories and giving points per category. It wasn't really helpful because at one time, the scores for the two choices, Intarmed and Chem/MSE, were tied!
The three days at the Ateneo has given me a very surprising impression. Haha. It seems Ateneo has one stark difference with Pisay: it is not people-based! I have yet to understand the inner workings of the Atenean society but so far, this has been my impression. The most compelling evidence is that Ateneo seems to have translated in actual rules and written guidelines many of what may seem to be unwritten traditions in the university setting. Imagine having a Magna Carta of Student Rights and a whole talk on how to relate to teachers. Plus the fact that there will be one whole class on Ateneo Culture for the rest of the sem! Grabe. I suppose this is why most graduates of the Ateneo share a common impression of the whole experience. This is very different from what I hear from UP graduates who seem to have a different story to tell about their experience. Learning about UP culture is more of based on experience unlike the rigid structure of learning the Ateneo cutlure.
But come to think of it, Ateneo is people-based in a strange way. From my observations, it seems the people-based system has been deliberately encoded in the rule-based structure of the Ateneo. This is most evident in the way the enrollment and the Orsem have been mostly handled (efficiently!) by the students. The student organizations at the Ateneo seem to have a certain degree of autonomy but always within the minimum framework set by the school. This freedom seems to be enough to allow for the development of ingenuity, ability to adapt and innovation.
And I have to applaud the efficiency of the way they do things at the Ateneo. I know in real life this will rarely happen, but at least I have experienced what government should aim to achieve.
I am really looking forward to the five years I will spend at the Ateneo. :D
Many people ask me why I chose Ateneo. My parents would often jokingly answer that question with "mas mahal kasi tuition dun e, para mas sulit ang scholarship :p", because I'm not sure I've explained my decision well enough to them. It's really complicated and no single reason is strong enough to stand alone.
I'll start with the wrong reasons people often use to explain this. No, I am not from Ateneo Grade School. No, my brother is not from Ateneo Grade School. No, my parents did not graduate from the Ateneo. It seems Ateneo, or college in general, is seen as a family tradition, with the choice of school as hereditary. Though I plan to "aggresively persuade" my children to study in Pisay, I will still give them a choice, just as my parents have always given me a choice.
No, I was not forced by my parents, because on the contrary, my mom had some other school in mind for me while my dad remained neutral about the matter. It's a great feeling to be trusted with one of the most important decisions of anyone's life.
No, I did not go to Ateneo because we're rich. ANLABO NITO. The only reason Ateneo was in the choices was because I got a scholarship. Thus, this proves that I do not fit in the usual perceived social class of people in the Ateneo.
I originally did not want to have to decide something as important as this. But as many have pointed out and I've been made to realize myself, God gave me the power to choose, unlike most who were forced to one school or one course because there were no other options. It was a blessing in many ways but perhaps the most important is that it was training on trusting yourself when you know that God Himself trusts you to make the decision. It's both empowering and assuring. The implication is that whatever I choose, God would be with me. :D
I did not really imagine myself enrolling in Chemistry/ Material Science Engineering prior to the Ateneo Junior Summer Seminar. I must admit that it was one of the biggest influences on why I chose Ateneo. As someone pointed out, I could have simply fallen into a marketing trick, showing the best of what it has to offer but hiding its worse features. But still stand by this statement: Ateneo is so much like Pisay.
Other considerations I had included the versatility of the course, employment opportunities and an opportunity for holistic development and leadership training. One thing that I really wanted was Catholic education. Though I must admit, I grew in my faith during the time I was away from the rigid religion class, I feel now I am ready to appreciate what I will be taught in theology classes. Though as people say, I could continue to grow in my faith even without theology, I believe a combination of service and study would allow me to see God in a wider perspective. As Jason pointed out in one conversation today, we choose something because we think we will find happiness there. As I have pointed out in earlier posts, true happiness is that which springs from an eternal meaning, which is God. I am extremely confident I will find more of God at the Ateneo (building upon what I found out about Him in Pisay). Not that I would not find Him in any other place but connected to what I said earlier, choosing this school is in fact trusting that He would be with me wherever I choose. This is the choice I made and I'm sure I will know more about Him in this newest journey of my life.
So that's the basic explanation. Haha. I tried an objective approach to this by making a list of categories and giving points per category. It wasn't really helpful because at one time, the scores for the two choices, Intarmed and Chem/MSE, were tied!
The three days at the Ateneo has given me a very surprising impression. Haha. It seems Ateneo has one stark difference with Pisay: it is not people-based! I have yet to understand the inner workings of the Atenean society but so far, this has been my impression. The most compelling evidence is that Ateneo seems to have translated in actual rules and written guidelines many of what may seem to be unwritten traditions in the university setting. Imagine having a Magna Carta of Student Rights and a whole talk on how to relate to teachers. Plus the fact that there will be one whole class on Ateneo Culture for the rest of the sem! Grabe. I suppose this is why most graduates of the Ateneo share a common impression of the whole experience. This is very different from what I hear from UP graduates who seem to have a different story to tell about their experience. Learning about UP culture is more of based on experience unlike the rigid structure of learning the Ateneo cutlure.
But come to think of it, Ateneo is people-based in a strange way. From my observations, it seems the people-based system has been deliberately encoded in the rule-based structure of the Ateneo. This is most evident in the way the enrollment and the Orsem have been mostly handled (efficiently!) by the students. The student organizations at the Ateneo seem to have a certain degree of autonomy but always within the minimum framework set by the school. This freedom seems to be enough to allow for the development of ingenuity, ability to adapt and innovation.
And I have to applaud the efficiency of the way they do things at the Ateneo. I know in real life this will rarely happen, but at least I have experienced what government should aim to achieve.
I am really looking forward to the five years I will spend at the Ateneo. :D
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
The Struggle
Wahoo. I just finished working on the organization list for the whole batch. Grabe. I never imagined typing this much would be hard! VERY VERY HARD! Harder than studying for an Econ Test!
I am fully aware that this is part of my job as documentation committee member for the yearbook and I do not really regret being a member of that committee but I tried to analyze what brought me to this very difficult situation of having to cram (yes, cramming for a deadline I set myself in the middle of the summer vacation!) whereas I could have easily divided the work the past few weeks where all I did was sleep and read and play (Holy Week not included :p)
I realized it would be more beneficial for me if I looked back beyond the past weeks of summer and focus on the whole 4-year Pisay experience. I know that Pisay has changed me a lot but I haven't really given thought to what exactly it has changed in me. This will take a long time to finish but it's an endeavor worth taking. I need to know myself well before I enter the confusing realities of college life.
So far, I have admitted to myself that I've become someone who works well under pressure to someone who works ONLY under pressure; that I've turned from someone who plans and sticks to that plan to someone who is flexible with its implementation or sometimes outright reactionary; that I've changed from being a great preparation person who makes sure nothing will go wrong to being a great on-the-spot problem solver. Extreme changes don't you think?
Back in grade school, cramming was not even part of my vocabulary. The teacher gives us a project one day, I finish it the next day with a perfect score and a lot of bonus points. But when we were exposed to the battery of homeworks, long tests and projects with greater levels of difficulty, time was transformed from being a luxury to a scarce commodity. I could still try to submit early but only at the expense of losing time for some other requirement. I feel relieved that I somehow struck the balance the whole four-years since I submitted every work on time (except the Science Scholar!). I couldn't have done so if cramming was still not part of my tools. Time management and prioritization really didn't suffice when time was just insufficient and everything was on the same level. The tactic was to be reactionary - getting ahead was just too costly. I study only what is necessary and indulge my intellectual curiousity when nothing is at stake any more.
The constant weight of academic and extra-curricular life in Pisay trained me how to deal with stress - not to fear it but use it as a weapon. I've always been proud of the fact that I work better under pressure. Sometimes, I deliberately constrict time allotment for a project so that it would end up better in the end (and would actually be more fulfilling)- which usually happens. The problem is I got so used to it, sometimes, unconsciously, I seek that pressure to motivate me to work. For example, there's a lab report due on a Monday and it's just a Friday. The grade-school me would react by working on the lab report on a Friday and hope that I finish it early so it won't consume my whole weekend (which sometimes happens). The high-school me would do the opposite. Relax and unwind Friday night to Saturday afternoon, preview the work ahead Saturday night and actually work on it Sunday. Without the pressure of "wow, one day na lang pala", I wouldn't push myself to work.
Before I came to Pisay, I would take every step to make sure everything is ready for an activity (this usually applies with my extra-curricular stuff like the school paper or student council). But because of the scarcity of time in Pisay, elaborate preparation turned from necessity to luxury. And near the end of my stay in Pisay, I find myself struggling to push myself to invest more time in preparing. The good side is combined with my propensity to work better under pressure, any problem encountered was just easier to solve. Fortunately, this has never happened but I'm sure there will come a moment where there is a problem that's just impossible to addrees except if I had prepared for it.
So, my struggle now is to be able to control these new "abilities". Sure, these gave me an edge in Pisay but will it be a liability in the next stages of my life? I feel that this summer I must learn to establish a switch so that I could revert from one attitude to the other.
I also believe that setting-up that conscious switch ability would be important if I will survive the totally different environment of college life. I am confident God will guide me closely in this next stage and I trust He will help me fix this problem.
Amazing what typing for almost a week can make you realize.
ILC entry next na talaga. hahaha.
I am fully aware that this is part of my job as documentation committee member for the yearbook and I do not really regret being a member of that committee but I tried to analyze what brought me to this very difficult situation of having to cram (yes, cramming for a deadline I set myself in the middle of the summer vacation!) whereas I could have easily divided the work the past few weeks where all I did was sleep and read and play (Holy Week not included :p)
I realized it would be more beneficial for me if I looked back beyond the past weeks of summer and focus on the whole 4-year Pisay experience. I know that Pisay has changed me a lot but I haven't really given thought to what exactly it has changed in me. This will take a long time to finish but it's an endeavor worth taking. I need to know myself well before I enter the confusing realities of college life.
So far, I have admitted to myself that I've become someone who works well under pressure to someone who works ONLY under pressure; that I've turned from someone who plans and sticks to that plan to someone who is flexible with its implementation or sometimes outright reactionary; that I've changed from being a great preparation person who makes sure nothing will go wrong to being a great on-the-spot problem solver. Extreme changes don't you think?
Back in grade school, cramming was not even part of my vocabulary. The teacher gives us a project one day, I finish it the next day with a perfect score and a lot of bonus points. But when we were exposed to the battery of homeworks, long tests and projects with greater levels of difficulty, time was transformed from being a luxury to a scarce commodity. I could still try to submit early but only at the expense of losing time for some other requirement. I feel relieved that I somehow struck the balance the whole four-years since I submitted every work on time (except the Science Scholar!). I couldn't have done so if cramming was still not part of my tools. Time management and prioritization really didn't suffice when time was just insufficient and everything was on the same level. The tactic was to be reactionary - getting ahead was just too costly. I study only what is necessary and indulge my intellectual curiousity when nothing is at stake any more.
The constant weight of academic and extra-curricular life in Pisay trained me how to deal with stress - not to fear it but use it as a weapon. I've always been proud of the fact that I work better under pressure. Sometimes, I deliberately constrict time allotment for a project so that it would end up better in the end (and would actually be more fulfilling)- which usually happens. The problem is I got so used to it, sometimes, unconsciously, I seek that pressure to motivate me to work. For example, there's a lab report due on a Monday and it's just a Friday. The grade-school me would react by working on the lab report on a Friday and hope that I finish it early so it won't consume my whole weekend (which sometimes happens). The high-school me would do the opposite. Relax and unwind Friday night to Saturday afternoon, preview the work ahead Saturday night and actually work on it Sunday. Without the pressure of "wow, one day na lang pala", I wouldn't push myself to work.
Before I came to Pisay, I would take every step to make sure everything is ready for an activity (this usually applies with my extra-curricular stuff like the school paper or student council). But because of the scarcity of time in Pisay, elaborate preparation turned from necessity to luxury. And near the end of my stay in Pisay, I find myself struggling to push myself to invest more time in preparing. The good side is combined with my propensity to work better under pressure, any problem encountered was just easier to solve. Fortunately, this has never happened but I'm sure there will come a moment where there is a problem that's just impossible to addrees except if I had prepared for it.
So, my struggle now is to be able to control these new "abilities". Sure, these gave me an edge in Pisay but will it be a liability in the next stages of my life? I feel that this summer I must learn to establish a switch so that I could revert from one attitude to the other.
I also believe that setting-up that conscious switch ability would be important if I will survive the totally different environment of college life. I am confident God will guide me closely in this next stage and I trust He will help me fix this problem.
Amazing what typing for almost a week can make you realize.
ILC entry next na talaga. hahaha.
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